Thursday, December 31, 2015

12-31-2015 Check in and My New Year's Resolution

Hello my darlings. I'm just checking in to let all of you know that I'm going to be out of town for the next week or so without any access to a computer. I'm going to visit my father and family in North Carolina (first time he has seen me in 4.5 years, and the first time my family has seen me in like 6).


I'm somewhat nervous about this trip, although not as nervous as I was about my mother's visit. My dad has been pretty good about this transition and has been rather supportive (he even calls me his daughter sometimes when he remembers to). I'm hoping that he continues with that and that I'll have plenty of good things to tell you all about when I return.


Until then, please have a happy and safe new year's celebration. Go crazy, have fun, make resolutions, kiss someone hot at midnight tonight, and definitely don't drink and drive! Taxi's are a pain but they are way less painful than a DUI, an accident, or even death.


I figure that before I close this entry I should reflect a bit on my last year and the resolutions I made, as well as making my new resolutions.


Last year's resolution was best summed up as:


Which I have definitely done. I am no longer in hiding in any way with my family and although this resolution eventually resulted in losing my marriage the freedom I've gained from living a life true to myself far outweighs what has been lost. I began this year as Robert and I'm ending it as 100% Emma. So what's next? I've thought about this some and I think I have a handful of resolutions.


First, I resolve to finally bite the bullet and legally change my name and gender. I've been putting this off for sometime now because of issues with my mother and the lack of financial stability to pay the cost of the change. I will be getting some money soon from school and I'm going to finally file the paperwork I've had sitting in my computer for a few months now.


Second, I resolve to finish what I started with regards to facial hair removal efforts. I no longer have a debt-ridden, penny-pinching wife to guilt me out of paying for laser hair removal, so I'm going to finally go have this done. This will likely take a bit longer to begin than the name change but I want to finish it before 2017 so I can stop having to shave every morning and can stop worrying so much about the 5 o'clock shadow.


Third, I resolve to get a new job, whether it's the one I have an interview for in two weeks or another one, I'm done with my current job. It might be awhile before I can effectively do that, but I need to change what I do for work before it drives me crazy. By 2017, I will no longer be a paralegal (thank god).


Fourth, I resolve to take better care of myself than I have been, and to not settle for less than I deserve. I resolve to make sure every relationship I'm maintaining is one that is good for me and isn't one where I'm being taken for granted, being used, or walked all over.


Fifth, I resolve to experience new things in sexuality. I want to push the limits of my previous experiences and try things I've never done before. I'm going to embrace my singledom with open arms and get a little kinky with it. >;)


Sixth, and this one is the most iffy of the lot, I resolve to fall in love again before 2017. I am so tempted to shut myself off, to put up my walls, and to not trust anyone with my heart, but I know that's not the right thing to do. I know I deserve love and I deserve to have someone in my life who actually cares for me and treats me the way I should be treated. I resolve to find someone who fits that mold, even if it's just a short romance that doesn't last forever I want to feel those butterflies while also knowing that they feel them too.


Well that's what I've got. Please be safe, and Happy New Year!!


-Emma

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