Friday, April 17, 2015

4-17-2015 Picture Entry: 8 weeks on HRT

Okay, the long awaited pictures are here. I apologize for my somewhat disheveled appearance, what with my rosacea acting up and me wearing a drab white T-shirt, but I wanted to take pictures last night since I won't have an opportunity to do it today (the actual 8 week anniversary of HRT). I thought about putting on a different, more appealing shirt but was afraid doing so would ruin what was mostly a decent hair situation. (I'm such a girl, aren't I? refusing to change for fear of how it will effect my hair) I would have put on makeup to cover my permanently rosy cheeks, but my makeup is still packed away.

The drastic emotional effects of going onto a higher dosage of HRT have subsided somewhat. I have been a bit more in control of my emotions than at previous times during the transition but my mental health has deteriorated somewhat over the last few weeks. Even my therapist has noticed the change and even went so far as to suggest I consider going onto anti-depressants for awhile. I haven't decided if that is something I'm going to do or not, as I have a deeply ingrained distrust for big pharma and their mental health drugs. I will keep that suggestion in my back pocket for the time being and may talk to my doctor about it when I go back for my 3 month check up.

As for physical changes, not much has really changed in the last few weeks, if I'm honest. I can tell that breast development has gone into high gear since doubling my estrogen intake as the entire area is generally sore and I often experience aches and random shooting pains. Since I am already overweight, I had a bit of a man-boob situation going on, so it's difficult to tell if they have increased in size or not. I believe they have, at the very least, stopped shrinking as I have continued to lose weight.

I do believe my face has started to change ever so slightly to a more feminine fat distribution pattern, although I think there is a long ways to go. Every story I read about HRT described a softening of the skin, and I honestly can't say if my skin is softer or not. I never really had very course skin as it was, so noticing a difference has been difficult. I am disappointed to say, however, that my body hair has not really changed much. I'm not covered in fur jacket of hair like some men, but I do have a significant amount of dark chest/stomach hair and some shoulder/back hair. I've read that as other MtF's have gone through HRT that their body hair thinned and eventually fell out, being replaced with finer blonde hair (like most female bodies would typically grow), but I have yet to experience that. I think that some of my chest/stomach hair might have thinned a bit, but not enough to even pretend like I wouldn't have take significant measures to remove it before I could wear anything too revealing (V neck shirt/blouse, dress, ect.).

Well, that's all I have. Hopefully my pictures aren't too scary looking. I'll try to post again in a week or two.

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