Oh my, I am just on cloud 9 this morning and I cannot wait to share what I’m so excited about. I know it’s horribly silly but I think I’ve finally found the solution to my tragic hair situation!!! EEEeee!!!
Yesterday I was browsing through some google images of short women’s haircuts and saw a few that I thought I might be able to pull off under the right circumstances but I thought I couldn’t be sure of that until my hair gets longer than it currently is (even though it’s longer than it has ever been before). This belief was furthered last night when I tried to style my dry at-the-end-of-the-day hair into one of the cuts I liked and found I couldn’t get anywhere near what I was going for. Despite this setback, not to mention my wife coming into the bathroom unexpectedly, catching me in the act of my tragic hair styling attempt, I decided to try it again this morning after taking a shower. Much to my elation and excitement I was able to style my hair like the picture I’d seen and as I looked at my reflection I just couldn’t help but smile with an amount of joy that cannot be put into words. For the first time ever my hair looked feminine!
I can’t stop smiling, even now, several hours later at the memory of that reflection. I mean, my hair definitely needs several more inches before I can really pull the style off but even my shorter hair revealed the potentials I have! I know this probably sounds completely absurd to some, but it just made me so happy, so happy that I could cry… even now as I’m writing this I can feel my eyes watering from the happiness I feel.
I think it means so much to me because every time I look in the mirror and see this male reflection staring back at me, I feel a bit disappointed and afraid; afraid that I’ll never be able to look anything like a female at the end of my transition. I think that is a pretty common fear among transgender individuals, which is why I felt it important to share this here today. It is the small victories, the small changes in the direction you want to go that can sometimes be the most fulfilling, so cherish every little piece of progress you can find. Because of this morning’s styling efforts, I am now much more confident that I’ll one day look the way I want, so it’s important to always be looking for the positive aspects whenever you can.
So, in case you are wondering what this hairstyle looks like here is the picture I was using as an example. Her hair is much longer than mine (probably a good 6 inches or more) but the way hers is falling is a lot like the way mine falls: